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by bigsbigs (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Australia, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insomniac Bang Chan, Light Angst, M/M, Slang, chan center, chan comfort, deep dive into chans thoughts, felix chef, like really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28363575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bigsbigs
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Kudos: 34





	Home

Chan sits down at his desk and sighs, rubbing his temples in disappointment. He’s always been a chill guy, but damn has stress been building up. He doesn’t want to let it slow down the group, so he’s going to continue working despite the overwhelming fatigue and thumping in his skull. He leans forward in the chair and gets some work done, Felix texting him. He picks up his phone and reads the message. The message reads of him asking if Chan thinks it’d be fine to go to the store so late, then a few Australian slang words. A few Chan can’t recognize. 

He should look up Aussie slang again sometime.

Its not as if he doesn’t do so often already, but there’s a connection he feels like he needs to gain somehow. There’s a comfort in being tied to Australia through use of slang, even though its such a trivial and small thing, completely useless where he is. He’ll never be able to use it and have anyone understand except Felix, so it’s not like it’s even convenient. But being able to keep that bit of himself through vernacular alone makes him feel whole. 

Similarly, Felix’s overall presence in the group makes him feel at home. A piece of his past, in someone so new and different. Felix is special, granted the entire group is. He would do anything for them, anything plus some. He would find more to do. He would make something to do. 

A feeling of belonging and protection, he never plans on letting them go. So sacred, something you feel with the people you consider family, huh. He has a family, two counting the boys. His heart hurts sometimes, maybe he considers Stray Kids more of a family than his own. Well, they are his own. But by blood, they have no connections. He wishes he could feel more attached to his own parents, that isn’t to say he doesn’t love them. He loves them more than the world and everything in it, down to every tiny atom. But he doesn’t feel the same. 

They are forever, but with Stray Kids there’s something to protect. Not an image. Not fame. Not their sound, not a message or aesthetic. Their specialties, their relationships, their hearts, them as people. He’s gotta protect them; and he plans to always. 

There’s a lingering threat, threat of everything being stripped from them leaving him without their smiles, their presence at all. Though disbandment is unlikely especially how they are now, he wants to make it all good enough for them to get by without falter. Without the bumps in the road. He wants to pave a road over those bumps, a smooth surface for the members to glide smoothly along, without the headache of a rocking car or fixing the straps on their shoes when they’ve tripped over a rock several times too many. They shouldn’t even have to wear shoes the way he wants to make it for them. They shouldn’t have to do anything. He could carry them along while they can’t walk, hold their hands when they’re alone and talk to them when the silence overwhelms their ears. He could be their pacemaker. Their haven.

He wants to be salvation, the shelter the mirage casts in your vision during your time of need, he wants to be there. Through everything he wants to be the safe place for everyone.

For Stay.

For Stray Kids.

For everyone.

Everyone deserves that chance, the chance to be loved, to be protected while they regain their strength and crawl to their feet, even if that part needs to be done alone, if he can be a shield or even a resource during the bumps. If he can’t pave the way, he wants to guide it. 

He didn’t live 23 years on this earth to be useless to people. He’s here to help, help always no matter what. 

Chan is snapped out of his minds rambling, Felix’s texts lighting up his eyes and illuminating the dark room. Felix asks what Chan wants to eat. Chan smiles.

“Chicken?”

“Woahhh you totally read my mind bro.” Felix replies. “I was craving that.”

“Sweet! Win win :]”

“Hell yeah.” Felix sends a cute laughing emoji, making Chan smile wider.

Chan is suddenly reminded of the melancholy of his works reality, the things that need to be done. He runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a sigh, leaning his head back. Damn it. 

Felix calls him, he brings the phone to his ear to respond but nothing comes out. Felix stays quiet. “You okay Chan?” Chan squeezes his eyes and cheers up his voice “Totally man, I just didn’t hear the first part well so I was trying to decipher it-“ Felix laughs hard, lifting Chan’s mood.

Chan puts the phone down on speaker, packing his things reluctantly and holding the conversation as he does. “I’ll be home soon.” His mind repeats the word home over and over, letting it really sink into his skin the way he wishes it wouldn’t. 

-

“I’m back.” Chan comes inside, it’s around 1 am, but he won’t argue with Felix wanting to make food. He’s down too. Felix smiles brightly and waves a spatula in his direction as if to motion him over to where he is. Chan puts his bag down and takes off his shoes, hurrying beside him. Felix giggles and shows Chan the food, Chan’s stomach growling with desire. “That looks great Felix. You’re improving so much.” Felix gets kinda shy, his face flushing as he claps. “Thank you.”

Chan smiles and rubs his back, staring at the food and then sitting down. “Let me know if I can help with anything.” Felix nods and sports a determined grin, looking to Chan like an excited child. He plates the food and gives some to Chan, as he blows on it and takes a bite his mouth waters with delight. 

“DAMNNNNN FELIX! This is so good.” 

Felix puts his hands up to his face, his cheeks rosy as he laughs in embarrassment. “Is it really?”

“Yes, but I should probably be quiet so we don’t wake the others.”

Felix raises his brows. “Yeah, I didn’t think about that.”

“I didn’t til now so it’s fine honestly.” 

Felix continues eating til hes full and Chan finishes his leftovers, washing the dishes while Felix talks. Home. Felix is his home.

Stray Kids is his home. 

Silence fills the room when Chan is done, Felix going over and wrapping his arms lovingly around his back. Chan hugs him back, walking forward while holding him and making their way into the room they share with Changbin. Felix mumbles “Can you sleep with me tonight?” Chan nods and follows him into the bed, spooning him. Felix seems more comfortable that way anyway, leaning his head back into Chan’s shoulder and quickly falling asleep.


End file.
